My First 3 Months as an Au Pair in France: What Surprised Me Most

This post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

Before I Arrived: No Expectations, Just Curiosity

Honestly, I didn’t really have many expectations for what this experience would be like — mostly because I didn’t know much. I knew the city I’d be living in and a little bit about the family, but beyond that, I was walking into the unknown.

Of course I was nervous, but what helped calm my nerves was deciding to take everything moment by moment instead of trying to control how it was “supposed” to go. I didn’t really romanticize it in my head, because I didn’t have enough information to do that. I was mostly just curious — curious to see how it would all unfold. So my only real plan was to arrive, show up, and figure things out as I went.

(I packed my Beis Weekender Carry-On Bag, which made this whole transition so much easier — especially moving between places in the beginning. Here's a link to one that's super similar → link)

The First Few Weeks: Overwhelming, Awkward, and Very Real

The first few weeks were definitely an adjustment. The language barrier hit immediately, and I often felt out of place in the smallest moments — ordering coffee, greeting people, asking questions. It was uncomfortable, but also kind of unavoidable when you drop yourself into a completely new world.

I actually went on a trip with the family during my first weeks, which was a nice introduction to the job, but also a lot because I hadn’t settled into a routine yet. So I was adjusting to a new country, a new job, and a new family all at once. Once we got back, I knew I needed to create some structure — figuring out my routine, researching gyms, and really stepping into my role as their au pair.

I wish I'd had a small French phrase book in my bag at all times in the beginning. I feel like it would've really helped me upon arrival. → link

What Got Easier (That I Didn’t Expect)

The morning routine and school drop-offs became second nature faster than I expected. I started navigating the city without relying on Apple Maps all the time, which weirdly felt like a big milestone. I also grew more comfortable with the family and understanding what was expected of me day-to-day.

And maybe the biggest shift? The independence. Taking solo trips, navigating trains, planning weekends — all of it has gotten easier the more I do it.

I never leave without my everyday travel backpack (perfect size for day trips) and a portable charger, which is a must-have on solo weekend trips. → similar backpack to mine link, charger link

What Stayed Hard (But Got Easier to Handle)

The language barrier is still something that ebbs and flows. I haven’t been taking formal French classes yet (I will soon), so communication can still feel tricky at times. I also still miss home — the familiarity, the comfort, the ease of life there.

Living in someone else’s space has been an adjustment too. It’s not bad, it’s just different, and it requires flexibility and patience. Making friends was one of the hardest parts at first, but by being persistent and putting myself out there, I’ve met people both in my city and nearby — including other au pairs. It took time, but it worked out.

I started journaling almost every night using a cute, simple journal, and it really helped me process everything I was feeling. It's a good way to document your experience. Here's a link to one similar → link

The Unexpected Wins

One of the biggest surprises has been bonding with the kids. That connection formed faster than I thought it would, and it's fun to see how our relationship grows with time.

I’ve also really grown to love the slower pace of life. I’m not rushing from thing to thing. I have time to breathe, to reflect, to just exist. Structure has become comforting — having anchor points in my day makes everything feel more grounded.

My morning routine feels incomplete without my coffee-making routine. Here's a link to the coffee machine the family owns and graciously lets me use. Highly recommend if you're a coffee lover like me. → link

When France Started to Feel Like Home

It wasn’t one big moment — it was lots of little ones. Familiar streets, knowing where to run errands, walking without maps, my coffee ritual, my workout class, quiet walks around the city. Slowly, I stopped feeling like a visitor and started feeling like a resident.

Most mornings start with coffee and sometimes a few pages on my Kindle, which has been one of my favorite things to bring abroad. → link

What I’d Tell Someone Starting Today

It’s okay to feel awkward. You don’t have to love it right away. Give yourself time. Take the pressure off. Nothing truly worth it is instant.

You’ll grow more than you expect — and most of that growth will come from the hard moments. And yes, it is worth it, even when it feels uncomfortable.

Final Reflection

Overall, I’m just incredibly grateful I took the chance — especially when it almost didn’t happen and then suddenly everything fell into place. It’s only been three months, and I already know I’m not the same person I was when I arrived.

If you’re reading this and you’re hesitating about doing something like this, this is your sign. Take the leap. Trust me — it will be worth it in ways you can’t even imagine yet.

“Things That Made My Au Pair Life Easier”

• Carry-on bag → link

• Travel backpack → link

• Portable charger → link

• French phrase book → link

• Coffee machine → link

• Kindle → link

• Journal → link